Ok, so my friend comes to me and says "I got this girl (Tatiana) I work with I wanna set you up on a date with". He said that she is 26 years old, about 5'8, Cuban, no kids, great boobs, and even better ass. He said she has a great personality and humor. But he also said that she hasn't gotten laid in about a year because her and her ex-boyfriend broke up a year ago and it was heart breaking. He said recently all she talks about is getting a piece. Could this sound any better?
So the date is set and I go pick her up on a Saturday night. I sorta good great expectations for tonight but don't wanna get my hopes up too much.
I go up to her apartment and knock on the door. The door opens and I'm blown away. My friend's description was spot on but she is even better then described. She gives me and lil hug and we're off.
We went to this nice restaurant her in the city. The conversation was great, the food was great, and the drinks were flowing. I didn't want to drink too much because I was driving home but I had a good little buzz going. So dinner was over and she wanted to go to some quiet lounge not far from where we were. So we went there and got this little booth in the corner of the dim lit place. Things started to get closer and I could tell she was a bit fiery with her touchy feely antics. Hell, I didn't mind one bit. I was actually starting to think this night would end of with a 'bang' for once in my life.
So it's late so we decide to leave. We get to the 3rd floor of the parking garage and get in the car. The garage seems empty so after waiting like 5 minutes to warm the car up, I put it in drive. She says 'wait', so I put it back in park. Then she starts kissing and feeling up on my groin. This goes on for about 10 minutes then in a sexy type manner she says 'I can't wait any longer, let's go'.
We arrive to her apartment and get out the car and head on in. I sit on her couch and then she says 'wait here, I'll be right out'. She leaves for a second and comes back with the sexiest friggin nighty thing that makes her look straight out of a Victoria Secret catalog. This is insane!
She sits down and lunges on top of me. Back to this again just in a way better setting. I have her butt ass naked in like 4.25 minutes. I only have my shirt off so I win. She grabs my hand and stands up and we start walking to the bedroom down this long hallway. I noticed she is pretty drunk and staggering. She stops looks at me weird and pukes all over me. She then stumbles to the bedroom. Falls down on her bed and passes the hell out! *&^%$$##^&&*! Are you kidding me? So I think maybe I'll clean her up and try to wake her up. I tried this for like an hour straight. She was like a dead body but breathing. Could this be any worse?
Sorta reminds me of my life as a long time Eagles fan. :(