There is less than a week left of this sluggish, mind-numbing part of the NFL off season before the Philadelphia Eagles and their fans can finally focus on football.  Camp Reid will soon launch from Lehigh University, and with it, an optimism that will permeate the Eagle faithful the entire season.

Fans have not seen their Eagles play in nearly six months, but their painful withdrawals from the game that they so passionately love will be quenched by the hot morning sun, and the flurry of a hundred echoing whistles during the waking hours of the long-awaited training camp opening.

Indeed, Eagles football is less than a week away.  This may very well be the longest seven days of your precious life.  To compare this moment to daily life, it is like a 20 year old kid, who is only six days away from his 21st birthday, staring in the fridge at an ice cold Bud Light.  His mouth-watering, and his body fighting the aching urge, he darn well knows that if he can just wait for one more week, he can enjoy a legal gulp.

This whole month, we have read numerous "Training Camp Previews", "Top 10 Training Camp Battles", and even "Position By Position Previews" to stimulate our need for birds 'ball.  I've read so many Training Camp Previews that I see them in my sleep.  It's scary.  However, with less than a week left, we're going to need something new, and something interesting about training camp that will make us want to strap on an Eagles helmet and enter ourselves into Training Camp '09.

Guys, I believe I have something just like that.

We have to look past all of the "Previews", "Battles", and that sports journalism "Drama" that unfolds before the pads are popped.  Not one "expert" will attempt to write about the darker side of the training camp phenomena, but I am ready to take it head-on!

So sit back, relax, and laugh out loud hysterically when you read:

Eagles Training Camp Pranks & Rookie Hazings

Let's do this.

Incident #1:
A Rookie Hazing
Eric Allen and other Eagle Rookies dress up like Diana Ross.

Laugh O' Meter:
Five Stars

Probably the most entertaining story of a Philadelphia Eagle rookie hazing, CB Eric Allen and his rookie colleagues were "welcomed" to the team amidst humiliation and laughter.  In 1988, the Eagle Veterans were absolutely brutal when it came to initiations. It was even worse than my varsity high school hazings, but we won't go there.

Here is the report:

But one of the more memorable parts of any training camp is the rookie show. Rookies often are forced to put on a skit, and the winning group escapes hazing. With the Eagles in 1988, Eric Allen, Eric Everett and other rookies dressed up like Diana Ross and the Supremes.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/trainingcamp07/news/story?id=2942587

We all would have had a good laugh if we were to witness that extravaganza.  

Eric Allen later said:

"Thank God there was no YouTube back then"

Poor Eric. There may have been no YouTube back then, but now, you have AlecTheMan.  I have put my Photoshop skills to good use, to give you a clearer picture of what he may have looked like during the hazing. Enjoy.

I hope I don't get into trouble for this one.

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Incident #2:
A Camp Prank
Andy Reid is thrown (yes, lifted up) into an ice-filled bath.

Laugh O' Meter:
Three Stars

After three weeks of intense heat during Camp Reid 2005, the returning NFC Champions took it upon themselves to include their head coach, Andy Reid, in a little fun-filled prank.

The report:

After Saturday morning's practice, the players lured Reid into the locker room, bolted shut the door and then lifted the head coach into the air and dumped him into the cold tub..."They got me," Reid admitted. "I thought I was going to have a meeting with a couple of guys and go over some things, and the team met me in there."

http://www.philadelphiaeagles.com/news/Story.asp?story_id=5190

Sounds fun and all, but I'm sure lifting Andy Reid provided quite a workload for the players.  I bet some even skipped the day's weightlifting session. Nevertheless, it was good fun, and somebody got humiliated.

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After spending hours upon hours of researching Philadelphia Eagle pranks, hazings, and initiations, these are the only two tales that I could muster. What a shame.  In fact, I was most surprised that I didn't find a story regarding a hazing to Koy Detmer or Reno Mahe.  I wish I could provide you with more stories, and maybe another Photoshopped picture, but my journey ends here.

Will any rookies get hazed or initiated this season? I'm not sure, but if they do, I  hope someone has a camcorder on the scene.

My goal was to provide a Training Camp read that was different from the millions of other pieces that will be featured over the course of the week. If you enjoyed, I'm glad. If you didn't, I'll haze myself at your requests. I'll do anything...except dress up like Diana Ross.  Sorry, Eric.