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Name the Headline!

I'm not trying to be cocky and jinx us, but I just spent the last hour teying to call into the the local Phoenix sports station. They were having a contest of "Name the Headline". I think the winner would get tickets to the game, but I'm not sure. Anyway, when I told the call screener my headline, he wouldn't let me on the air. It seems they only wanted pro-
Cardinal headlines. So, I decided to have a little contest ('little' meaning no prize will be awarded). I'll disqualify myself, but submit my own headline to get things started:

Monday morning headlines: "Eagles Feast on Cardinal Stuffin', and Deflate the 'Metal Muffin®'"  (I own the copyright on 'Metal Muffin' as a derogatory description of PHX Stadium)

                                                                                                                                                                                                               

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