Dear Mr. Jones

A letter found prior to TO signing with Dallas:

My name is Terrell Owens so I'm going to call you Jerry. I'm a superstar WR in phenominal condition although my teeth are slightly discolored from talking so much shit. I want to play for your Cowboys because I'm no longer accepted or wanted in Philadelphia. I have some rather amazing stats and the biggest is my ability to disrupt team chemistry and divide a locker room. I could have taken the 49ers back to their glory days but our QB was gay and that held us back. I through a hissy fit and ended up in Philadelphia. I was going to take them to the Promised Land but that ended up in a trip to the Land Fill via the Super Bowl. I'm the greatest WR I know, just ask me but I need to play for team that worships the ground I walk on and that will make me its focal point. It was me that put the "I" in San Francisco and in Philadelphia. If you were to over pay me and get me the ball 10 times a game I'll whine but I'll have a whole bunch of mo money and a lotsa balls to pad my stats. Chances are we won't win many games (it is the Cowboys) but I'll get the organization in the headlines one way or another so getcha popcorn ready because I also put the "me" in team.  By the way....my hood bitch Pacman Jones will be looking for work as well, he's a highrisk like me with a less than stellar (McNabb taught me that word) past but he may be able to take the spotlight off of any balls I drop and routes I don't complete. Can you hook a brotha up?

Getcha Mylanta Ready,

T.O.

(aka Turn Over, Team Obstruction, The Outcast and Totally Obnoxious).