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Angry Brian's Not-so-good Day

I thought you might enjoy my recap of the Eagles game, not so much for any analysis of the game itself, but for its account of stupid adventures and a cautionary tale about Standing Room Only tickets.

First of all, to any Giants fans here, congratulations to the Giants.  Even w/o the benefit of TV or radio commentators, it was obvious watching mostly on the giant video screens at the Linc (more on this in a minute) that the talent gap between the two teams is much, much wider than the final score indicated.

With that painful formality out of the way, let's review my day:

11:00am:  Obsessive-Compulsive Brian leaves home (York, PA) much earlier than necessary to get to the game.

11:15am:  Brian stops at the local Rutters Farm Store (convenience store here in York County) for gas and the ATM.  He lets the gas pump while he goes inside to tap MAC.  In a hurry for no real reason, Brian returns from the ATM, gets in his car, and drives off with the nozzle still in his gas tank because he almost never goes inside while the gas is pumping.  In hindsight, this was probably a bad omen.

11:16am:  Brian, the World's Biggest Idiot, decides that he still needs to be able to live with himself, so he resists the urge to drive away, and goes inside and tells the Rutters guy that he broke their gas pump.  He expects a rather large bill for this, but the kind folks at Rutters explain that it happens occasionally and is an emergency breakaway valve that's easy to fix.

11:17am:  Brian tells himself to calm the hell down a bit, and gets underway.

11:18am-1:00pm: To calm himself down, Brian listens to Rancid, the Offspring and Blink-182 at ear-splitting decibels the whole way down the PA turnpike to King of Prussia.

1:00pm: Far too early, Brian arrives at the Genuardi's in Radnor, greatest grocery store in all the world, to get his hoagie for the game.  Amazingly, they do not have Combos. In hindsight, another bad omen.

2:00pm:  Brian arrives at the Wachovia Spectrum Parking lot and begins tailgating by himself.  By tailgating, he means sitting in a folding lounge chair drinking beer and eating apple slices.

3:20-ish pm:  Brian’s friend arrives.  They eat hoagies.  Brian gets hit in the back of the head with an errant football, most likely thrown by Donovan McNabb.

5:00-ish:  Brian and friend head for the stadium, stopping to gorge themselves on free samples of Turkey Hill Philadelphia Eagles Touchdown Sundae Crunch.  Predictably, the chocolate peanut butter footballs would prove to be the highlight of the day.

5:20-ish:  Brian, friend, and friend #2 enter the stadium.  Regrettably, merchandise is purchased prior the game. 

5:40-ish:  They head for the stadium gates so they can race up the stairs to get a good Standing Room Only spot in "The Eagles' Nest"

 

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via farm2.static.flickr.com




6:00pm:  Gates open, they run up the stairs.  Brian, who runs 3-4 miles several times a week, notices that running is much more difficult after 3 beers, a 12-inch hoagie, and about 20 chocolate chip cookies.

6:01pm:  They are among the first at the Eagles Nest, but notice it is roped off, allegedly for Swoop to zip-line down to the field.

6:01 -8:13pm:  A huge crowd accumulates waiting to watch the game from "The Nest"

8:14pm: Swoop appears on the field, and Danny Bonaduce zip-lines down to the field.

8:15:  They finally take down the ropes, the crowd rushes forward, and Brian, who is only 5'6, is stuck behind taller people and cannot see a thing.

8:15-Midnight:  The Eagles play inconsistently on both sides of the ball, but get themselves in position for a miraculous comeback only to end up losing BECAUSE THEY COULD NOT GET ONE ****ING YARD.

Midnight-3:20am:  Brian drives home, seething with rage not only at the outcome of the game, but because he paid $50, froze for 8 hours, and made sure he was everywhere he needed to be super early, only to basically end up watching the game on TV screens because of Danny ****ing Bonaduce.

Time’s yours.

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