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It's Saints Week at The Onion

Reggie Bush On First NFL Touchdown: 'That Was It?'

Also in the comics pages, SI's Jay Novacek picks the Saints, with analysis that boils down to: "Philadelphia will try to rely on Brian Westbrook more, but New Orleans' underrated defense will contain that offense."  Umm, how, exactly?

Gratuitous Cowboys articles on the jump...


Suspended Tackle Albert Haynesworth: 'I Just Wanted To Make Sure The Guy Was Dead'

For the record, Haynesworth's 5-game suspension wasn't long enough, even though Gurode took the high road and decided not to press charges. Fortunately it looks like Gurode is doing OK with recovery.

Terrell Owens Blames Poor Game On Drew Bledsoe, Offensive Line, Hamid Karzai, NASA, Samsung

Read to the end for Karzai's response.